Looking for love in all the right (campus) places

Yeah, I’ll admit it: I’m usually not the most romantic of people. Sure, I enjoy dinner at a cozy Italian restaurant, and if the moment’s right, I can even appreciate a sunset. But normally, I won’t plan my day around a date. Who puts that much effort into romance?

Still, with Valentine’s Day approaching, I wasn’t surprised to catch this assignment: plan a romantic evening on campus. Fine, easy. But there was a catch: only use official campus property, buildings and people. Great, I thought, here comes an evening of concrete rooms, desks, and freshman splatter-paint compositions.

OK, this must be possible. To make things easier I laid out four categories: a gift, a walk, an event to attend and a place to relax afterward. To avoid having the date devolve into a cliché campus-tour-like list of the normal landmarks, I plan to try to keep it obscure. Sorry, Bascom Hill.

The gift
For a while I assumed I could stroll over to the gift shop at the Union and browse the merchandise (I’d argue gum is a gift), but my conscience said I needed to go classier. Flowers seemed like a classic choice, but the botany department doesn’t like people lifting plant life from Birge. So I figured out a cheat: the hospital. Still UW property, the hospital has a whole cooler of flower arrangements on the first floor by the entrance. Plus, the people selling them probably will be thrilled to find out for whom the flowers are destined.

Details: The UW Hospital “flower mart” is open from 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Monday-Friday, and from noon-3 p.m., Saturday-Sunday. For information, call 263-8289.

Runners-up: Babcock Dairy cheese and chocolate, or a massage from the UW Health Research Park Clinic, 621 Science Drive. One-hour sessions are $65. Phone: 263-7936.

Flowers will get me off on the right foot: giving a massage right at the onset might seem a bit forward.

The walk
Next, I’ll need a little time for conversation. I’ll want to get to know whomever I’m taking out, and I’d rather not just sit. So the perfect thing might be some sort of stroll …othing like skydiving, but I don’t want to be staring at my shoes either.

While the botany department failed miserably at providing me with roses, it can help with an activity.

Open 8 a.m.-4 p.m., Monday-Thursday, the Birge Hall greenhouse is a great place to tour: warm, humid air, strange new smells and exotic, flourishing plant life might stir some emotion. If anything, the greenery and warmth will allow us to temporarily escape winter. Who knows, maybe we’ll make plans for Jamaica.

Details: Mo Fayyaz, who runs the greenhouse, says couples can come and tour anytime it’s open. If they have questions about what they see, or would just like to generally learn more, he’d be happy to help. He can be contacted at mmfayyaz@facstaff.wisc.edu, or 262-2235.

Runner-up: Lakeshore bike path to Picnic Point. While this seems like a great option, I have two reservations: weather and predictability. It’s too cold, and it’s too obvious.

An event
Next I’ll need something for entertainment. If I were more creative, I’d gather up a group of friends and rehearse a love song to perform at open-mic at the Union. But, I’m not, and that sounds like quite a bit of time.

At UW, finding high-quality performance art is probably the easiest part of the night. With one stop at http://www.arts.wisc.edu/calendar.html, I found two great options. On Valentine’s Day itself, there’s a School of Music Faculty Concert at Mills Hall in Mosse Humanities, and later this month, University Theatre presents an operetta, “The Mikado.” If my date isn’t going well at this point, I can still relax and just enjoy the show.

Details: The arts on campus calendar (listed above) is a one-stop date-finder. For an even more inclusive listing of events, swing by http://www.today.wisc.edu.

Runner-up: Touring the Elvehjem Museum of Art.

A place to relax
Last, at the end of a performance, I’m going to need a place to take my date to wind down. Now, I’m not sure how this date will go, so I want something open-ended. If she’s starting to check her watch, I’ll need to be able to cut things short at any moment. So this part of planning started to become challenging. Many campus spots close early, aren’t that intimate and generally don’t strike me as places I’d like to unwind at the end of a date. So, in the end, I’ve got to break my own rule of originality. The Memorial Union’s Rathskeller and Terrace (when it’s a little warmer) win hands-down. The Rat has energy, music, beverages and atmosphere. The Terrace view is perfect, and if it’s early enough, we might still catch a band. I know I’m a cheater, but all is fair.

Details: Expanded hours keep Memorial Union open from 7 a.m.-11 p.m. Sunday through Wednesday, and from 7a.m.-2 a.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

Runner-up: Ninth-floor lounge of Van Vleck. It offers spectacular panoramic views of campus and most of Madison, but closes at 10 p.m., and is usually crowded with mathematicians. If equation-filled chalkboards are your kind of atmosphere-builder, this is your spot.

Orton, a UW–Madison student, is a regular contributor to Wisconsin Week.