Myth: My son or daughter isn’t emotionally ready to be turned down by the university.

Actually, most are. It’s the parents who seem to have the most trouble with it. Admissions counselors say most complaints they receive after a denial come from parents, not from students. “It speaks volumes when a parent is writing an appeal letter, rather than a student,” says St. Arnauld. “It says to me that the student has accepted it and moved on, but the parent hasn’t.”

Although college admission has grown increasingly competitive — as reported repeatedly in the media — denials still genuinely shock some parents, who may have seen older children, or perhaps themselves, get admitted with lesser qualifications. “We hear from a lot of people who just can’t believe it,” says Seltzer. “They’re alumni, and they expected their kids to come here. You can understand their disappointment.”

At the same time, he says, parents could avoid the letdown by understanding the reality that UW-Madison’s expectations have changed — and likely will continue to do so. He says his office now attempts to reach out to students as early as the ninth grade to explain the standards they’ll need to reach during high school if they want to be admitted.

“If you wait until senior year to call me, at that point, there’s not much I can do,” says Seltzer. “I’m just explaining the ‘no.’ ”

Counselors say the appropriate role for parents is to stay in the background, informed about what’s happening, but never in the driver’s seat of the process. “Most of the parents I hear from are not in a good place to support their kids,” says Olson. “Instead of being a cheerleader on the sidelines, it’s like it’s their application. Some of them are completely out of control.”

And that brings us to this ...

Myth » It’s a perfect system.

• Introduction
• Myth: It’s a secretive process.
• Myth: A formula determines whether students are admitted or denied.
• Myth: UW-Madison has raised its admissions criteria in recent years.
• Myth: The UW turns away students with perfect GPAs.
• Myth: Some students get special treatment in the admissions process.
• Myth: It’s impossible for regular students to get in anymore.
• Myth: No one reads personal statements.
• Myth: It pays to apply early.
• Myth: Minority students get in with lower grades than some white students who are rejected.
• Myth: UW-Madison caps the number of students who can be admitted from one high school.
• Myth: Back in the day, UW-Madison let everybody in.
• Myth: Applicants from outside Wisconsin are taking up spots that could go to state residents.
• Myth: Connections with important people can get you in.
• Myth: Alumni can get their kids in if they pull the right strings.
• Myth: Being postponed is the same as being on a wait list.
• Myth: An A is always better than a B.
• Myth: One grumpy admissions counselor can doom an application.
• Myth: Admissions counselors like rejecting people.
• Myth: My son or daughter isn’t emotionally ready to be turned down by the university.
• Myth: It’s a perfect system.